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  He swallowed hard, not able to answer. Colt spoke for him. “She’ll be fine in a few days. She’s just under the weather.”

  “Is there something I can do to help? Mom could bring her some soup.”

  “No, sweetheart. Don’t you worry about her,” said Colt.

  They rested in silence, Colt occasionally brushing her hair with his fingers. It was so silky and long, the color of wheat. The scent of her strawberry shampoo drifted in the air, so feminine compared to the stench of cattle and horses North was used to.

  She began to play with North’s fingers, examining the various healing scars. When she beckoned for his other hand, she sat up in a rush. “What happened to you?”

  “I’m not hurt,” said North.

  She kissed his torn knuckles, not repulsed by the bloody mess. “I’m telling mom. She’ll fix you up good.”

  He took his hand back, not in the mood for coddling. “Later. Promise.”

  “You’re stubborn as a bull.”

  North didn’t respond. He just needed to be there in the fluffy pink blankets where he felt safe and loved. Eva could throttle him all she wanted.

  She twisted around on her knees between them until she could see them both. “Dad says we’re having a corn roast when I get back,” she said with sudden enthusiasm, breaking the hush. “Even more people are coming than last year. It’ll be fun.”

  “Did you invite the Blackwood sisters?” asked Colt.

  Eva jabbed him in the stomach, making him grunt. “You can chase tail on your own time. Anyway, you’ll be busy shucking. Lots of shucking.”

  Colt chuckled, tickling her until she squealed. North couldn’t help but join in. It was so easy to tease Eva. They were both relentless, crowding her and offering no reprieve. He swore the bed would shatter into splinters with the weight of the three of them bouncing around.

  “Stop!” she cried, half laughing. “Please!”

  North stilled Colt’s hand. He supported his weight over her body as she attempted to catch her breath. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes. Somehow Eva made life tolerable.

  He desperately wanted to tell her everything.

  But he refused to bring any of his darkness into her world.

  Chapter Two

  Eva brushed her oldest prized cow in long strokes. She’d raised Bessie and Ruby herself, keeping them separate from the herd. Her father rarely refused her, not that she ever asked for anything extravagant. She hoped at least one of them would win a ribbon or cash prize at the rodeo. Although her parents had babied her, she was twenty-two and felt the need to spread her wings. Most of the girls she’d grown up with here married, in serious relationships, or had traveled to the city to study in colleges and universities. She felt left behind, counting the days until she was considered an old spinster.

  Her parents insisted she never had to worry about money, being an only child, because the family ranch would pass on to her. But how could she be expected to keep things running all on her own once her parents were too old to continue? Her dad already relied on help from the McReed brothers. What she needed was to fall in love, get married, and follow her own dreams.

  Part of her felt the trip to Chester would be the catalyst to a new life. Although change was scary, it was often necessary to reinvent yourself.

  “She’s a beauty.” Her father’s gravelly voice sent a wave of calmness through her system. She smiled to herself as she continued to groom Bessie.

  “Think she’s a winner?”

  “You have a fighting chance,” said her father. “But I need to talk to you about the trip.”

  Now she whirled around. “Oh?”

  “I was talking with Colton and North this morning. What they said makes sense—”

  “You’re cancelling the trip!”

  “Hush now, darlin’. You’re free to go to Chester with Bessie and Ruby—but you’ll also be carting the McReed boys. They promised to look out for you while you’re away.”

  She had to pause to take in what he’d said. When her father mentioned Colton and North, she was certain the trip was over. She’d kill them for opening their big mouths after their claim of a truce last night. But as much as she was pissed they’d be tagging along, at least she was still allowed to go.

  “You’ve taught me how to use a rifle, daddy. I can take care of myself,” she assured.

  “I’d just feel better. You’re my little girl, my only one, and I can’t bear to have anything happen to you.” He kissed her atop the head and then patted Bessie on the rump. “I’m sure you won’t even notice the twins. They’ll be busy having fun of their own.”

  True enough. Colton would be chasing after every new cowgirl he saw. She’d probably never see either of them. She returned to her task, her initial worry fizzling away.

  Once she finished with Bessie, she moved on to Ruby. She was the smaller of the two, but she had a beautiful coat with unique markings.

  “Hey there, pretty girl.” Colton peeked from around the corner with a few wild daisies in his hand.

  “I’m not talking to either of you. You promised not to make trouble, but you went running to my dad as soon as I turned my back.”

  He ran a hand through his shaggy blond hair and sat on the milking stool a few feet away. “We’re doing this for your benefit, Eva. You think we have free time during fall harvest? We’ll be up to our ears in work when we get home, plus we’ll have to leave our mother alone for nearly a week.”

  “Then why bother?”

  He was quiet for a moment, looking up at her as if she’d spoken a foreign language. “Because we love you.”

  She exhaled, all the bravado she’d built up since yesterday draining down to her cowgirl boots. As much as they drove her nuts most days, she loved the McReed brothers too, always had, always would.

  “Well…thank you for offering. I’ll help you with your chores when we get home.”

  He rose to his feet, setting the flowers on the stool before standing tall. And boy was he tall now. The brothers made her feel like a prairie mouse in comparison.

  Eva tried to do everything around the ranch to ease the burden on her parents, but Colton and North were built like workhorses, able to do in an hour what would take her all day. She’d still try and help them when they got home, even if it was just doing laundry and cleaning chickens for their mother.

  Colt ran a hand over Ruby’s neck. “You’ll win,” he said with a smile. She was glad for the change of subject. She wasn’t in the mood for fighting any longer.

  Eva shrugged. “I have no idea what I’m up against. Guess I’m kind of nervous.”

  “Nervous? Look at Bessie. She’s a regular butterball. I’ve been dreaming of turning her into steaks.”

  “Hey!”

  He laughed, tugging her pigtail as he walked off. “Your dad’s lending us the motorhome. I’ll come after breakfast tomorrow and get it hooked up to my truck.”

  “See ya.”

  She planned to stop by their ranch after dinner and do what she could to help. She could clean, cook, bring in firewood, and do a million other things. Their mother shouldn’t have to suffer because Eva was taking her sons away for a week. It was the least she could do.

  ****

  North was ready to drop after pulling off his boots. He’d harvested more fields in one day than he’d ever done, hoping to get as much as possible finished before following Eva down to the city. The timing was shit, but he had no choice in the matter now. They’d made a promise to Mr. Ford and had to follow through.

  Colton was in the shower, the static of water loud when he entered the quiet bungalow. He’d wanted to jump in himself, but he’d just wait until morning. His mother’s door was open, and when he peered inside it was empty.

  “Ma?”

  There was no one else in the house, and he wondered where she was since her car was parked out front. He was tired of the lies, guessing games, and constant sneaking around.

  North had saved extra
for a rainy day, harvesting neighbors’ fields during his free time. He’d left the money on the kitchen table in the morning so his mother wouldn’t have to worry while they were gone. She’d be able to pick up any supplies, groceries, or gas she needed.

  The money was gone.

  He opened the fridge since she hadn’t made anything for dinner. The white interior blinded him, only condiments and a drawer full of apples available. He closed it with a rattle and decided he was too tired to care. All he wanted to do was get to bed.

  The front door opened, the cool breeze sneaking in. “Hey,” said Colton, tossing his Stetson onto the hall table. He began tugging off his boots.

  North frowned. “I thought you were in the shower.”

  “Just finished bringing in the livestock.”

  Panic welled up inside him. He rushed over to the bathroom and pounded on the door. “Ma, you in there?”

  When there was no response, he banged on the door more, the entire frame rattling. She had to be in the bathroom.

  Colton joined him, bracing a hand against the wall beside the door. “Ma, open the door or we’re breaking it down.”

  The shower was still going strong, humidity escaping from underneath the door. They looked to each other, a silent agreement passing between them. North reared back and rammed the door with his side and shoulder. It crashed open, the hinge snapping from the pressure. The shower curtain was half pulled off the bar and their mother was lying naked in the tub unconscious, the water streaming down on her body.

  Colton grabbed a towel off the rack and dropped to his knees, covering her nudity and pulling her upper body up. North turned off the water.

  “Ma, wake up! Talk to me,” Colton shouted, lightly patting her cheeks.

  North noticed the empty bottles of pills on the tiles, a few spilled out. His fears vanished and numbness took over. “She’s fucking wasted.” He kicked the bottles before knocking in the cupboard under the sink with his heel.

  Colton carried her to her room, coming out a few minutes later. “She’s okay. She’s talking,” he said.

  “I ain’t worried,” he lied.

  His brother exhaled. “She promised to stop. She’s gonna take Aunt Laura’s offer to get help in Newcaster.”

  North paced the room, throwing up his hands in defeat. “And you fucking believe her? She spent all the damn food money on pills again. What else is new? I’m sick and tired of her so-called promises.”

  “You’ll get her upset if she hears you.”

  “What about me? Am I not allowed to get upset? Do you think it’s normal to come home and find your mother high as a kite and nearly drowned in the bathtub, Colt?”

  His peripheral vision caught movement to the right. Their mother was standing in the hallway, her pale blue bath robe wrapped around her. Rather than getting clean as promised, she’d reached a new low. North blamed himself. He never should have trusted her with cash money when her addiction was stronger than her resolve to quit.

  “Fightin’ over me?” Her words were slurred, a sign she was not even close to the sober woman he loved.

  “You could have killed yourself,” said North. “You know you can’t keep doing this.”

  Her eyes widened when she was close enough to see him clearly. He knew what she saw, and it cut him deeper every time. “Don’t you talk to me! I have nothin’ to say to you, Jess. Get out of my house! Get out and never come back!” She staggered over to him, tears falling and arms flailing. He stood in place, not moving a muscle as she pummeled him with her closed fists. “You bastard!”

  His throat clogged with emotion, his jaw set hard. This wasn’t the first time it had happened, yet every attack hurt as much as the first.

  “Ma, cut it out,” said Colton, carefully restraining her arms. “It’s just North, you know that.”

  “Get him out, Colton. I want him out of our house!”

  Colton looked up at him with sympathy as he held her back. North turned around and made haste getting the fuck out of the house. He burst out onto the porch, savoring the burning cold against his heated flesh. Unshed tears were begging for release, but he refused to cry, refused to let himself be hurt by her again. Part of North wanted to hate her, to leave and never come back. The other part pitied his mother, knowing it was his no-good father that started her path of self-destruction.

  He’d been glad his father left. At least it ended the years of harsh beatings. Their old man would use his fists or belt on them every time he’d come home drunk, which were most days, especially near the end. North took more than his share of abuse so he’d spare their mother. It was worth the added pain. When she began to mourn the fact her husband had left her, North felt a sense of betrayal, like all those years of suffering on her behalf were for nothing. Years later, she began to abuse different substances, finally settling on prescription drugs. Nearly every time she got high, she saw Jess McReed when she looked at North. It was one of the reasons he could barely stand to look at his own reflection.

  He leaned over the porch rail, trying to settle his emotions while Colton got her tucked back into bed. She’d be fine in the morning, not able to remember a minute of tonight. But North would remember.

  The steady beat of horse hooves approached. He looked out into the darkness, finding nothing until the golden Appaloosa appeared in the overhead lamp light. Eva. He stood up straight and met her in the front yard before she got too close to the house.

  “Hey!”

  “What are you doing here? It’s late,” he said.

  “I came to help your mom. I would have come earlier but my dad gave me a list of chores longer than my arm.” She smiled sweetly and attempted to dismount. He pressed his palm against her thigh to keep her from getting off.

  “You need to leave, Eva. Now’s not a good time.”

  A blood-curdling shriek came from inside the house.

  “What was that?” Eva prodded the horse forward until it was practically on the porch. She leapt down and raced to the door, swinging it open without hesitation. North was right behind her, grabbing her arm to keep her from entering.

  Colton was struggling to settle their mother because she was in a fighting mood. He didn’t want Eva to see their mother like this, or even to expose her to such a toxic environment. Eva represented everything good and wholesome in his life and he didn’t want to spoil her.

  “Oh my God, what’s happening?” she asked, her hand over her mouth as she watched the train wreck of his life.

  “It’s him!” His mother pointed at the doorway where they stood. “Get that bastard off my property. He has no right to be in my house!”

  “Get her out of here!” shouted Colton, his eyes pointed daggers when he saw Eva.

  North pulled Eva out, but she tried to shrug him off, so he hoisted her up over his shoulder instead. “Put me down, North!”

  He grabbed the reins of her mare and kept walking until they reached the edge of darkness. North set her down on her feet and passed her the leather lead. “Go home, Eva. I told you she was sick. This ain’t no place for you tonight.”

  “Why was she saying those things to you? I don’t understand.”

  “She’s just sick,” he repeated. Maybe if he said it enough times he’d believe it himself. “I need you to listen and go home now.”

  Eva mounted her horse, and then she stared down at him. Her face was a mix of confusion and pity—something he didn’t want from anyone, especially her. “Call me if you need me,” she said just above a whisper. She turned the horse in the direction of the white brick house and then disappeared into the darkness.

  Chapter Three

  By seven o’clock in the morning, Colton was at the Ford ranch hooking up the mobile home. They’d always called it the silver bullet growing up. It was an older model camper with an upper sleeping area, small kitchen, and modest living space. It would be cramped with the three of them, but cheaper than the pricey hotels around the rodeo—if there was even availability, which he
doubted.

  The sky was clear so they’d have an easy trip along the highways and back roads. He hadn’t spoken with his twin since last night, and the tension between them was thicker than molasses. He’d only gotten a couple hours sleep.

  “I hooked the livestock trailer up to my truck already,” said Eva. “Are you guys going to follow me with the camper?”

  Colton hadn’t even heard Eva approach, too lost in his own thoughts. He was thankful she didn’t mention last night. It was much easier to live in beautiful ignorance. When he’d seen her in the doorway with their mother on a rampage, he felt a piece of his heart fracture. His two worlds were best kept separate. The Ford family was his saving grace, and he didn’t want to burden them with their personal problems, or embarrass their mother in front of neighbors when she wasn’t herself. When sober, Karen McReed was a good country woman with a kind heart, everything he could want from a mother. He just wished those days were not so few and far between.

  “One of us will be driving your truck. You can ride shotgun.”

  “I can drive my own truck, Colt. Don’t start pushing me around already.”

  “If you want to be helpful, go check the back and see if the brake lights come on.”

  They tested all the lights and signals and Colton ensured the hitch was secure. Everything was ready to go once North showed up. He wasn’t looking forward to seeing his brother. Last night had been brutal. The way their mother always lashed out at him when she was wasted, convinced he was their father, shredded North to pieces. But despite her verbal abuse and constant drug relapses, they still had hope she’d get better. Time was supposed to heal all wounds, but he was losing hope fast. Colton frequently told her there was more to life than Jess McReed, that she shouldn’t be so affected by his actions and betrayal. But she seemed beyond repair, as if their father had taken everything noble and loving about her when he abandoned the family.

  They leaned against the side of the camper, looking out into the fields. It was getting harder and harder to put on his happy face. The day was still early, only the occasional call from the rooster filling the air. Neither of them said a thing.